Mysteries and Revelations
By Luthien

Prologue

It was late in the afternoon of a day at the tired end of summer. The sun was sinking towards the tops of the trees on the higher end of a small, forested valley. Anyone who happened to be travelling through that deserted countryside at that moment would have observed two women coming along the track that followed the top of the ridge on one side of the valley. As it was, there was no one around to notice the younger, fit-looking blonde woman stride along the track, staff in hand, talking animatedly at the other, who sat atop a large warhorse.

The tall, dark-haired taciturn woman on the horse was dressed for combat. She smiled occasionally in response to the other's words but appeared to be on the lookout for something - or perhaps for someone. However, the wilderness around them remained silent and apparently undisturbed.

Suddenly, the younger woman halted, both physically and verbally, and squinted into the sun, trying to make out the path ahead of them. After a moment, she turned to the other and said, "Xena, we're not going to make it to Sparta by nightfall. In fact, I don't think we're even going to find a village between here and Sparta before nightfall. The track goes down into the valley when we get to the end of this ridge. Why don't we set up camp for the night by the river down there? I really don't want to be stuck halfway up the ridge on the other side when it gets dark."

"It's all right Gabrielle, we're not going to Sparta." Xena - for the woman on the horse was of course the famous warrior woman - gave her friend a somewhat enigmatic look, as Gabrielle launched into speech once more.

"Xena, what do you mean? You know we promised to meet Joxer in Sparta. His message sounded like he really did need our help - even though he's probably exaggerating, as usual. It's not like you to just abandon a friend! When did you make this decision, anyway - and where are we going instead?"

Gabrielle would have said more but Xena motioned her to silence.

"Shhh, Gabrielle. Listen."

For a few seconds all that could be heard were the forest sounds: wind in the treetops, the faraway roar of the rapids in the river, even a few bird calls in the distance. Then, Gabrielle heard something else. Could it be a human voice? And wasn't it... singing?

The wind caught the sound a second time. There was definitely someone singing - someone whose armour glinted in the afternoon light as he made his way down the track on the other side towards the valley floor. Listening carefully, Gabrielle could make out a few snatches of song, "...through the... 'tryside... to hide... and singing songs... 'xer, Joxer the Mighty!"

"It's Joxer!" exclaimed Gabrielle. "I wonder what he's doing out here?"

"I don't know. I noticed some movement on the other side when the track first joined the top of this ridge but I wasn't sure who it was until I heard the singing just now."

They watched as Joxer disappeared from their view into the thicker forestation near the bottom of the slope.

"Why don't we go down and set up camp, and then we can find out what this is all about?" suggested Xena. She dismounted and then led Argo forward once more as Gabrielle quickened her pace towards the edge of the ridge.

Gabrielle never could stand a mystery. As a bard, she felt the need to know everything. It was all grist to the mill of her storytelling. She travelled in silence now, her thoughts taken up with the puzzle of why Joxer would come to meet them out here. He knew that they would meet him in Sparta in the next few days but how could he possibly have known that they would arrive in this valley right at this moment? It was certainly well beyond the talents that Joxer usually displayed, Gabrielle reflected as she remembered numerous occasions when Joxer's propensity for getting into trouble had led them all into tricky situations.

They were some way down the side of the valley when, as if in answer to Gabrielle's thoughts, there was suddenly a loud cry from Joxer. This was followed by the sound of clanking scrap metal - his armour, thought Gabrielle - and the appearance of a mini avalanche below the stand of trees that Joxer had disappeared into when the women had been watching him from the top of the ridge.

"Joxer!" Gabrielle cried in horror. Joxer was the sort of person who could fall over his own feet - and often did just that. It was obvious, though, that this fall was much more serious than his usual stumblings. The women quickened their pace as much as the steep descent allowed as the last direct light of the afternoon illuminated the still form lying amidst the large pile of stones, gravel and dead wood near the bottom of the slope.

Chapter 1

Falling down the mountain
End up kissing dirt
Look a little closer
Sometimes it wouldn't hurt

- From Kiss the Dirt by A Farriss & M Hutchence, 1985

His world consisted of pain, dominated by the thumping ache in his head. The thumping echoed through the darkness. Gradually, he became aware of something beyond the pain. He realised that someone was talking to him - and that his eyes were closed. He opened one eye carefully, and was confronted by a bright yellowy-green mass moving alarmingly close in front of his face. He shut his eye again to escape from the assault of colours and movement. As he did so, the words being spoken to him finally connected with his brain.

"Joxer! You're awake! How do you feel?"

It was a female voice, and it sounded vaguely familiar. He tried opening an eye again, and this time the violent, swirling mix of yellow and green resolved into the shape of a woman with long blonde hair. She was wearing a - well, something green. He consoled himself with the thought that although his head might not feel too wonderful at least he hadn't been hallucinating those colours.

"Joxer. Are you all right? Say something, if you can."

He wished she wouldn't speak quite so loudly. She was using that name again. Joxer. Was that his name? She obviously seemed to know him but he realised that he had no idea who she was. Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Who..." Hades, was that his voice? He cleared his throat and tried again. "What's your name?" His voice sounded stronger now but the woman frowned at his response.

"Don't you know me, Joxer? It's me! Gabrielle!" He looked at her blankly. The name, like the woman herself, seemed vaguely familiar but he had no idea in what context he knew it. And, of course he had no idea who he was, beyond the fact that his name appeared to be 'Joxer'. He realised that that should have been his first question. It was going to be the next thing he asked but the woman - Gabrielle - jumped in ahead of him.

"Okay, maybe you've hit your head even harder than I thought on the way down the hill. Let's try a little test. Now, you're sure you don't remember me?" He shook his head, slowly and carefully, since she obviously wouldn't leave him alone unless he made some sort of response.

"Okay, we'll agree for now that you don't know me. Do you remember Xena?"

Another woman appeared in his line of sight, apparently in response to the blonde's - Gabrielle's - comments. He felt a literal jolt of recognition at the sight of her. That's right; she was Xena, a mighty princess, a warrior princess, forged in the heat of battle.

He shuddered. What was happening to him? He was starting to think in overblown, bardic phrases! It didn't feel like the way he usually expressed himself, even though he couldn't remember exactly what was his usual style. Still, he took some comfort in the fact that he had actually recognised the woman as Xena.

His thoughts must have shown clearly on his face, judging by Xena's next comment, spoken in a low, matter-of-fact drawl.

"So you know me, Joxer. Do you remember anything else?"

"No, I - I can't remember anything specific. I remembered you as soon as I saw you and heard your name. Gabrielle looks slightly familiar, and I'm sure I've heard the name Joxer before, but that's it. I can't remember anything more."

"Do you remember how you got here?" asked Gabrielle a bit sharply, ignoring his last statement. She was obviously none too pleased that Joxer remembered Xena but not her. He attempted to sit up in order to look around and find out where 'here' was. He immediately wished he hadn't: it was lucky that his stomach was empty.

After the fit of dry retching had passed, he raised his head slightly and looked around. It appeared to be early morning. He was lying on a blanket next to the remains of a fire in a small clearing in a forest. He could hear the sound of moving water nearby. The place was completely unfamiliar to him, and he said as much.

Xena frowned. "I was afraid you might say that. We were coming to meet you in the city of Sparta, a few hours down the road from here. You'd sent us a message saying that you were in some sort of trouble and that you needed our help. We were due to meet up with you in Sparta in the next few days."

"So what are we doing out here?" he asked.

Xena sighed, although it came out almost as an annoyed snort. "We were expecting you to explain that to us. We saw you coming down the path on this side of the valley late yesterday afternoon - we were travelling along the other side. Unfortunately, you went for a slide down the scree slope before we had a chance to meet up and you managed to collect quite a bump on the head on the way down. You were unconscious when we reached you, so we carried you down here. You've been out cold all night." As she was speaking he noticed an obviously hastily put together stretcher made out of a blanket lashed to a couple of roughly cut tree limbs. Xena hadn't actually thrown him over her shoulder and carried him down the hillside, at least. He had no idea why that thought was so distasteful to him. Add that to the list of mysteries, he thought wryly.

At that moment, Gabrielle re-appeared from the direction of the river. He realised that she had departed while he had been heaving. She gave him a small, slightly apologetic smile as she held a cup of water to his lips. He carefully lifted his head a bit more and sipped the water gratefully, while Xena waited restlessly nearby.

Finally, Xena spoke again, having obviously come to a decision. "Well, we won't find out what's going on by just sitting around here. Sparta is the best place to start looking for answers to our questions. You're in no condition to travel, Joxer, and we can't leave you here by yourself. I can move most quickly by myself on Argo, so I'll go on to Sparta and see what I can find out." She caught Gabrielle's eye. "Gabrielle, you're going to have to stay here and take care of Joxer while I go on ahead. I'll leave plenty of supplies and I should be back no later than the day after tomorrow."

Xena strode out of the clearing, whistling for her horse.

Gabrielle squatted on the ground near the remains of the fire. She contemplated her surroundings as she sorted the supplies for the next few days into two piles before her. It was the perfect place to spend some time and really work on a few of her scrolls in peace and quiet - or at least it would be if it weren't for Joxer's presence. She hoped he wouldn't pester her too much.

She had almost finished the task when there was the sound of a tread behind her.

"Xena, have you seen that extra saddlebag? We'll need something to store the supplies that you don't take with you," Gabrielle said, without turning around.

"I don't think that'll be necessary, Gabrielle." Gabrielle turned to find that Joxer, who just a few minutes before had been unable to sit up without a violent bodily reaction, was now standing and was walking towards her with perfect ease! For once, the bard found herself completely at a loss for words.

"What...? How...?" Gabrielle managed to utter.

"I'm not sure," Joxer responded slowly. "I was lying there thinking how much more useful it would be if I could go to Sparta myself - I might see something familiar that would jog my memory. Before I knew it, I was feeling fine. As far as I can tell, all of my bruises and bumps have healed up." He paused, then added, "My memories haven't been healed, though."

Deciding that action was easier than words, Gabrielle stood up and came over to have a look at Joxer's forehead. There was no sign that the skin had ever even been damaged at the place on his forehead where the bump had been.

"There's something strange going on here. Things like this don't just happen by themselves. You haven't been praying to Asclepius lately, have you?" Gabrielle was aware of the slight edge in her voice even as she named the God of Healing. She really wasn't prepared for the tone of Joxer's response, though.

"I've had just about enough of your sniping! It's clear that I'm not one of your favourite people but it would definitely be better for you if you didn't make that quite so obvious!"

Gabrielle flushed at the unmistakable reprimand in Joxer's voice. That, even more than Joxer's miraculous recovery, convinced her that there was something very strange going on here. A bit shaken by the hint of menace implied in his tone, Gabrielle found that she was very relieved that she hadn't tried to grab Joxer's nose and twist it, as she usually did when he had said something to annoy her. She had the feeling that this Joxer just might retaliate.

Then Gabrielle decided to say something that she rarely found the need to. "I'm sorry, Joxer. It's just the whole thing is a bit spooky, y'know?" She gave him one of her best smiles - which he did not return.

Xena interrupted their conversation at that moment, returning with her horse. She stopped in front of Joxer, looked him up and down, taking the situation in at a glance, and inquired, "Do you mind my asking just what is going on here?" She waved Joxer silent as he opened his mouth to speak, "No, don't waste your breath. You don't know, do you?" Xena seemed almost relaxed about the whole situation.

"Xena, aren't you surprised? I mean, Joxer couldn't even sit up a moment ago and now he's suddenly been healed, just like that!" Gabrielle snapped her fingers.

"Gabrielle, after everything we've been through almost nothing surprises me any more. I was a bit concerned when I saw Joxer walking down that track yesterday afternoon, though. There seemed to be no explanation for how he could know exactly where we would be at that moment. No, this re-assures me. There's more than just fool's luck at work here."

"Do you two make a habit of insulting all of your so-called friends to their faces?" asked Joxer, obviously stung by Xena's unflattering reference to his intelligence.

"Sorry, Joxer. It was just a figure of speech." Xena fixed him with a steely gaze as he would have argued the point. "We're wasting time hanging about here. There's no reason for any of us to stay here now. Joxer, go and put on your armour - you can't travel around the countryside in your underclothes!"

Joxer glared at Xena. She returned his stare coolly. He didn't say anything for a moment, then asked where he could find his armour. Gabrielle pointed to the pile of sadly dented metal close to where Joxer had been lying. He grabbed the armour and stalked off to get changed.

"Xena. What's going on?" Gabrielle asked quietly.

"We'll see, Gabrielle. We'll see."

Chapter 2

Joxer was in a bad mood. More precisely, he was in a foul mood. He had been walking for hours in this 'armour'. It had probably been a better fit before it had gone flying down the hillside with his body inside it; now it chafed in unexpected and embarrassing places.

He found it difficult to believe that he could have chosen to dress himself in such junk. It was bad enough that wearing it made him look like a fashion disaster but, even more potentially disastrous, the 'armour' would be a liability in a fight. It weighed him down and hindered his movement - bad news for any form of combat. What he really needed were some garments made out of a more supple material, like leather. That and some good, sharp knives to defend himself until they got to Sparta, where he could get a decent sword. The sword Joxer carried was almost as much of a joke as the armour. Its balance was all wrong, and must have been designed for a fighter with a larger, heavier build than his own. Even worse, it had been damaged at some time and was slightly bent in the middle. By the look of things, it was something of a miracle that he had managed to remain comparatively unscathed for so long. Joxer wondered morosely if it was due to 'fool's luck', as Xena had suggested.

He looked over at Xena now. She didn't say much. She had cast a look in his direction from time to time throughout the morning, but that was all.

Gabrielle was also travelling silently, but not really through choice. She had tried to start a conversation several times since they'd set out but neither Xena nor Joxer had been interested in continuing it.

Gabrielle kept looking over at Joxer in puzzlement and it was really getting on his nerves. Those looks were contributing to his black mood. Tartarus! It was probably better to talk to her and get it over and done with before he got to the point of doing something more drastic to her.

"What do you want?" he finally asked, in a resigned tone.

"I- I just wanted to chat with you Joxer, like I usually do when we travel together."

"Except that usually it's Joxer pestering you to talk, rather than the other way around," Xena interpolated before returning to her previous watchful silence.

"Chat?" Somehow, Joxer did not think that he was a 'chatty' person. If anything, now that he came to think about it, he thought that he would get quickly bored by idle chatter. It felt faintly disturbing that Xena thought otherwise. Yet again, his own gut instinct about the type of person that he was seemed to be diametrically opposed to the personality of the Joxer that Gabrielle and Xena said they knew.

Despite not wanting to get involved in a conversation, Joxer was curious to find out more about himself. "What sorts of things do we usually 'chat' about?" he asked Gabrielle.

"Well, it depends. If we haven't seen each other for a while, you usually try to impress me with tales of your latest exploits. Once you run out of breath, I tell you a little about what Xena and I have been doing."

"My exploits?"

"Saving whole villages from a Cyclops, rescuing a princess from certain death - that sort of thing." Joxer noticed that Gabrielle watched his face as she explained. She seemed to be trying to gauge how he would react to hearing about this aspect of himself.

It didn't feel right. Gabrielle was describing the boastings of an insecure, hopeful would-be-if-he-could-be. This was not the sort of person he was - he was sure of it! And yet, it made a perfect fit with all the rest; the 'chatty' would-be warrior in junk heap armour, trying to impress an indifferent woman with tales of far-fetched exploits – though why he would feel the need to try to impress Gabrielle was beyond him.

"Do we usually talk about anything else?" he inquired, keeping his expression carefully neutral.

"No, not really - but you usually end by trying to sing a new verse of your song."

"My song?" Joxer had a bad feeling about this.

"A sort of personal anthem of yours. In fact, that's how we were able to tell it was you when you were coming down the hill yesterday. You were singing your song." And then Gabrielle began singing softly.

Joxer listened with a sort of horrified fascination for a couple of verses and then stopped Gabrielle. "I don't think I want to hear any more," he told her firmly, as he cast a watchful glance around them. Gabrielle gave him an almost... dissatisfied look as she stopped singing. Whatever response she had been fishing for, he obviously hadn't provided it.

In truth, Joxer had not requested that Gabrielle stop singing right then solely because he couldn't stand to listen to any more of that wretched song - although that had been a powerful incentive. During the last few minutes, he had noticed that Xena had become ever more tense and alert. It was obvious to Joxer that they all needed to be on their guard in this area. Conversation and, especially, singing provided both a distraction and a way of drawing unwanted attention.

The forest they had been travelling through earlier had given way to barer, rocky, though still mountainous country. This part of the track was a steep ascent with great, jagged rocks surrounding them on both sides. Joxer was acutely aware of the vantagepoint that this type of terrain would give an attacker, and of their own vulnerability.

So he was on his guard for the attack, and ready for it when it came.

There were ten of them - a gang of bandits, not trained fighters but still outnumbering them more than three to one. Joxer assumed a defensive position in the split second before one of the bandits came at him with a long, cunningly-made knife. Even with the hindrance of the armour and the need to compensate for the deficiencies of the sword, he soon made short work of the bandit.

Only one? He grabbed the fallen bandit's weapon and turned to help Xena and Gabrielle. Gabrielle was holding off three of the bandits with quick, precise movements of her staff. Another lay facedown in the dirt beside them. Xena was taking on the remaining five all at once. She moved out of the way of a flashing knife effortlessly, taking out the bandit with a deft flick of her sword hilt as she did so.

Joxer realised then why he'd had only one bandit to deal with. As the bandits attacked, the women had automatically gone to the fore, protecting him by taking the brunt of the assault. Xena and Gabrielle truly believed that he was incapable of holding up his end of the battle!

Joxer recognised the women's tactic immediately. It was an old one supposed to maximise the efficiency of a fighting force, in effect shielding the weakest part from full-on attack until there were fewer of the enemy to deal with. At least, that was the theory. There was always the chance that the opponent would wear down your best fighters first, and then... Perhaps that was why that particular tactic was no longer generally favoured, he thought, as he casually stabbed his borrowed knife into the chest of an oncoming bandit.

Suddenly, to the other bandits' confusion, Xena was flipping through the air, yelling her battle cry. She landed behind them, and two more were down before they knew what had happened to them. Gabrielle had knocked another unconscious and now there were three bandits left. One each, thought Joxer, as he dodged the murderous swing of 'his' bandit's sword arm.

Joxer lunged at the bandit in return but even as the blade found its mark and he felt the satisfaction of watching the man fall he realised that his earlier misgivings about the armour had been well founded. In normal battle gear, he should have been able to right himself easily, but the armour weighed him down. He just had time to think that he really should get some better battle gear and stop making a habit of falling down hills - and then the ground came up to meet him.

His eyes fluttered open. He realised that he couldn't have been out too long this time. The sun seemed to be in about the same place that he remembered it - he remembered! Not much, but enough! One of the veils concealing his memories seemed to have been lifted by his latest bump on the head.

No wonder being Joxer had felt so wrong. He knew who he was now - and he definitely wasn't Joxer! But that knowledge raised even more questions than did those he'd had before. He still had no idea what had led up to all of this, how he had ended up in this situation.

He noticed with relief that he was no longer wearing Joxer's scrap metal armour. He was now wearing black leather, really much more his thing. Of course! His last thought as he'd hit the ground had been a fervent wish to get rid of that blasted armour.

He made to sit up and suddenly Xena was beside him. She held her sword close against his throat and whispered, "Don't make a move, Jett. Tell me what you're up to and which god is helping you - and while you're at it, tell me what you've done with Joxer."

"How do you know I'm not Joxer?" He couldn't resist the question, now that he knew who he was.

"You remembered me but not Gabrielle; you didn't want to talk - or sing! - while we were travelling; your ability to defend yourself adequately - not to mention your penchant for leather and knives!" Xena ticked the points off with the fingers on her free hand as she gave each reason. "And, most of all, you killed with ease and without regret. Joxer would have been a basket case after doing what you just did - not that he would have been able to do it." He could sense the exhilaration running through Xena as she verbally homed in for the kill, "Then, there's the way your leather garments just magically appeared. That suggests to me that a god is helping you. Ares would be my first guess." Xena smiled ferally, "How am I doing so far?"

He felt like laughing out loud. For once, Xena had seriously misinterpreted something. He wasn't Jett!

Well, just who are you, then? And what are you doing inside my head pretending to be me? asked a bewildered presence in his mind.

No, not quite in his mind. The presence was together with him in this body, but somehow separate. It came to him then that the silent words had been spoken by the 'real' Joxer. He must have remained unconscious since the fall the previous day, allowing his unknowing 'guest' to think that this body was his own.

Who are you? Joxer asked again, more insistently this time.

There was something close to a smirk in his mental voice as he finally replied. Can't you guess, Joxer? I'm Ares of course!

Chapter 3

"Answer me, Jett!"

Xena was still crouched beside 'Joxer' with her sword pressed dangerously close to his neck.

Joxer panicked. What's been going on? Why does Xena think that I'm Jett? Why

does -?

Shut up! Ares mentally hissed. Let me deal with this!

Strangely, Ares' angry response seemed to calm Joxer somewhat, although Ares could still feel the questions roiling just below the surface. However, Joxer remained quiet and didn't try to interrupt further, leaving Ares to deal with the immediate situation.

Ares concentrated. He would resume his own form and put an end to this - Nothing happened!

He tried again - and a third time - but it was no use. He couldn't leave this clumsy, mortal body! His godly powers were gone.

Forcing himself to remain calm, he approached the situation logically. Although part of his memory had been restored to him it seemed that that had not automatically restored everything else to rights. Casting his memory back to earlier in the day, it seemed to him that he had regained momentary (and unknowing) use of his powers once or twice since he had woken up in Joxer's body. That must have been how his wounds were magically healed and how he had wound up clothed in his customary black leather. It had definitely only been fleeting control of his powers, though - there was certainly no sign of them right now.

There was only one way this could have happened. Another god had trapped him here. Ares cursed his incomplete memory. There were plenty of gods who might want to do this to him, but who had managed to succeed, and how?

Xena's sword pressed closer.

With all of the mental speed and agility at his disposal, Ares reviewed his predicament. There was really only one way that he was likely to be able to sort out the mess he - they - were in. He had to find the god who had done this to him - only the one who had trapped him in Joxer's body could free him again.

Why's that? asked Joxer curiously - and totally inappropriately, considering their immediate situation.

It's a god thing! Now, will you shut up and let me think our way out of this? Ares snapped, and Joxer's consciousness gave a sort of mental jump away from him and subsided once more.

Ares thought fast. In the absence of his godly powers, he needed to have Xena on side while he worked out who had done this. Well, maybe that was too much to hope for where he was concerned, given his past history with the Warrior Princess. At the very least, he needed to persuade Xena not to get in his way in his search for the truth. In his present powerless state her opposition would be a very effective hindrance. There was only one course of action that he could think of that was likely to enable him to accomplish that goal. He had to tell Xena the truth and prove to her that it was the truth. After that, he would have to trust that the truth would be enough to gain her compliance - he certainly didn't have anything else to offer her.

Ares cleared Joxer's throat and asked, "Don't you think we should get out of here before these bandits come to? I'll tell you what I can as we go..."

Fifteen minutes later, the situation had not changed much. Xena had at least removed the immediate threat of the sword to the throat, but only so that she could tie 'Joxer' up and throw him over Argo's back.

Xena had listened to 'Joxer's' explanation with unconcealed scepticism. "It's a great story, I'll concede that. It's also a story without a shred of proof to back it up. On the other hand, there's still no sign of Joxer's personality in your behaviour and there's plenty of evidence to support the idea that you're Jett and that Ares is aiding you - or something along those lines, anyway. Somehow, I think I prefer my explanation."

It hadn't taken long for her to tie 'Joxer' up. She seemed to be very practised at it. He had wondered, irrelevantly, where and how she had become so skilful with ropes. Then, Xena had leant even closer into his face and told him quietly, "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now, in that I won't kill you, at least not yet - just in case that really is Joxer's body. Don't be foolish enough to try anything or I may just forget that bit." For emphasis, she had pulled the ropes around 'Joxer's' wrists even tighter. "And not another word from you until after we get to Sparta, or I swear I'll gag you. Don't worry," she had added, "this won't be for all that long. Sparta should bring us some answers, one way or another - even if it's just that you end up in a Spartan gaol instead of a Corinthian one." Xena had laughed harshly, apparently finding something amusing at the thought.

It was humiliating, but Ares had allowed Xena to truss him up and throw him onto her warhorse's back like baggage on a packhorse. He had no choice. The God of War was in real trouble, and he knew it. He would have to keep his temper and bide his time for now. That would not be quite as remarkable a feat as some might believe. Ares was widely regarded as a god of irascible temper. Few people had ever really deviated from that opinion enough to connect the notion that a successful warlord needed to be able to keep a cool head with the fact that Ares was, without doubt, the greatest warlord of them all. Ares was indeed hot-tempered and often volatile - but he could also keep his cool with the best of them when the situation demanded it.

The situation demanded it now. Ares went over the possible courses of action. One was to find the real Jett and use him as evidence to prove their case to Xena. Ares dismissed that option almost immediately. There was little chance that they would happen upon the real Jett. As far as Ares knew, Jett was currently serving time in a Corinthian gaol - and Xena's final comment showed that it was likely that he was still there. He abandoned the Jett option. It wasn't going to help him right now.

He briefly considered trying to convince Xena by reminding her of some past occurrence that only the two of them knew about but then he remembered that Xena suspected that he was helping Jett in this. This course of action would only confirm what she wanted to believe was the truth.

There was only one way he could think of to prove his identity. He needed another god to identify him and back him up. For that matter, he also needed another god to help him find out who had done this - the fingerprints of his gaoler's power signature should be all over this mortal body and easy for another god to read.

The only problem was, how was he ever going to contact any of his family in his current helpless condition? And even if he could contact them, could any be bothered to help him? More likely they would see it as a huge joke at his expense - and that was just the likely reaction of those of them that had no special reason to have it in for him this week. And then, of course, there was the fact that one or more of them was responsible for his plight.... Now would be a good time for some semblance of his godly powers to return, he thought with irritation.

Does it matter which god? Joxer's mental voice asked hesitantly.

Well, preferably one who doesn't actually hate me, came Ares' tart rejoinder.

Umm, would Cupid fit into that category or not?

Cupid? Cupid and I - No, I don't think he hates me, precisely. Do you know a way of contacting him, Joxer? For the first time in their dealings, which admittedly until now had been few and far between, Ares found himself treating Joxer semi-seriously. Well, what else could he do? He was desperate and needed every ally he could get.

I've got one of Cupid's feathers in my pack. He gave it to me in thanks for services rendered - in case I ever needed his help in a hurry.

Ares' mind boggled at what might constitute 'services rendered'. Joxer and Cupid? Then he caught the echo of an accompanying thought from Joxer. Something about Joxer stumbling into an out of the way temple to get out of a sudden downpour of torrential rain just when a distraught Cupid was in urgent need of a babysitter.

Cupid distraught? Suddenly, Ares realised exactly when it must have been that Joxer had acted as babysitter for little Bliss. No wonder Cupid had rewarded him!

It looks like we'll have to wait until we get to Sparta to do anything, though. I'm sorry, Ares. Somehow, I don't think Xena is going to untie us until we've reached our destination.

Joxer was right, which was, in itself, a lowering thought. There was nothing they could do but wait it out for now.

I don't remember anything either, for what it's worth.

Joxer must have felt Ares' questioning response to the statement, because he answered before Ares had a chance to mentally voice the question. About how we ended up like this - what happened before, I mean. You haven't asked me if I remembered anything.

Was there a hint of reproach in the soft mental voice? Ares noticed now that the voice wasn't nearly as whiny and nasal as Joxer's speaking voice. I'm sure you'll tell me - won't you? Ares replied with resignation. What's the last thing you remember?

I was going to Sparta - I'd been at home in Corinth and word had come that my brother was seen in Sparta-

In Sparta? I thought he was still in prison after the whole Cleopatra fiasco!

You know about that?

Of course I do - I always keep an eye on Xena, and she helped put him there. But you haven't answered my question - how did Jett come to be in Sparta?

Oh, Jett's not in Sparta. As far as I know he hasn't escaped from prison yet. No, it was my other brother, Jace, who was supposed to be in Sparta. He left home years ago and nobody's heard from him since. My mother's always hoping that he'll come back, so when she heard that he'd been sighted in Sparta she asked me to go down to Sparta and see if I could find him.

Ares was surprised to find that he was listening to Joxer's explanation almost with interest. He was amused by Joxer's unquestioning faith in his brother's ability to escape from prison, revealed by his use of that single word 'yet'.

You were heading away from Sparta when Xena and Gabrielle found you.

That must mean that - I've most likely lost weeks of memories!

So you don't remember sending a message to Xena and Gabrielle asking them to help you out of some trouble?

No I- Oh how are we ever going to work this out?!

Ares could hear the rising panic in Joxer's tone. He couldn't possibly tolerate Joxer in that sort of mood when they were confined here together, so he put a stop to it.

Calm down. We'll find a way. I am still the God of War, after all. And on that note Ares ended the mental conversation, satisfied that he had effectively quashed Joxer's fears - or, at least, that he had stopped Joxer from expressing those fears - for now. He noticed that the mortal was wise enough not to pursue the point any further.

Something was troubling Ares. That last sentence he'd 'spoken' reminded him of something that had been worrying at his memory ever since he'd remembered who he was. Something important, something-

His sword! The source of his godly powers! How could he have forgotten it? Had someone stolen it? Were they about to run through a replay of the time his sword had been stolen - when Hades had helped the warrior Sisyphus in an aborted attempt to steal his power and position? No, somehow it didn't feel the same. Now that he concentrated on it, Ares could still feel the sword's presence, connected to him through an invisible bond. Wherever it was, it was still his.

Ares' attempt to concentrate on the whereabouts of the sword had also revealed something else. He hadn't lost his powers - his connection to them was being blocked somehow. No wonder both instances when he had inadvertently used his powers today had resulted from an especially strong wish or desire. The strength and suddenness of his need in those circumstances must have somehow briefly weakened the grip of whoever had trapped him here.

This situation was getting stranger and stranger. Someone had imprisoned him here, powerless and memory-less and yet it didn't seem to be for the purpose of overthrowing him as God of War. But what other possible motivation could there be? He couldn't think of one of his enemies who, if they could manage to take revenge on him in this way, would have hesitated in pillaging all of the spoils - including the sword, the source of Ares' Godhood.

That line of thought brought him back to where he'd begun. He couldn't even begin to try and unravel this almighty tangle until he got Xena at least partly onside. To achieve that he had to persuade her that he was telling the truth, and to prove that he needed Cupid's help - and they wouldn't be able to summon Cupid until they got down off this stupid horse, and the horse wasn't going to stop until they reached Sparta.

Ares ground Joxer's teeth in frustration, which had the unintentional effect of reminding him of one of the discoveries he'd made very soon after Joxer woke up. It seemed that Joxer had control of their shared body unless Ares specifically exerted control over part or all of it. Despite himself, Ares grinned with Joxer's lips - at least he wouldn't have to experience the indignity of fighting with Joxer about who had control of what. Ares had been granted the power of override. Not unlike his relationship with his generals and warlords when developing battle strategies, really.

Now what did that remind him of? Generals and warlords and... Sparta. Ares suppressed a groan. Zeus only knew what they might have been doing in his absence - although he had a fairly good idea and it didn't please him one little bit.

The more he thought about it the more Ares was convinced that when they arrived in Sparta not only would he have to persuade Xena not to actively oppose him - he would in all likelihood also have to persuade her to help him in stopping a war.

Chapter 4

Gabrielle let out a sigh of relief. The gates and wall of the city of Sparta loomed ahead of them. At last they were nearing the end of their journey, a journey that had been more than usually eventful - which was saying something, considering the sort of life she had led travelling with Xena.

Gabrielle reflected that it wasn't so much the number of the events but the nature of them that made her feel relieved that the journey was almost over. The drastic change in Joxer's personality that had been apparent almost as soon as he had woken up this morning had honestly shaken her. It was only when the goofy, talkative and often irritating personality of the warrior wannabe had been replaced by that of a curt, dangerous stranger that Gabrielle remembered how good-hearted and friendly Joxer usually was.

Gabrielle wondered which explanation for the changes in Joxer was the truth. She wasn't sure which option made her feel the more uneasy.

Either way, she thanked the gods fervently that she had not tweaked Joxer's nose this morning.

Almost instinctively, Gabrielle sided with Xena's conclusions, having learned to rely on the Warrior Princess' reading of many situations, and yet... Although Jett's impersonating Joxer was easier to believe than that Ares had somehow become trapped in Joxer's body, Gabrielle found the possible motivations for Jett to do so difficult to understand. If Jett truly wanted to impersonate Joxer in order to deceive Xena and herself - perhaps as part of some plot of revenge for his ending up in prison - then why not just wait until they'd arrived in Sparta? Why come out into the forest to meet them? And if so, why bother pretending to be Joxer? Wouldn't it have been easier to come upon them stealthily, perhaps ambush them? In fact, he'd done the opposite. He couldn't have known that they, or anyone else, were out on that deserted track, and yet he'd been - he'd been singing!

Suddenly, Gabrielle realised that that was the piece of the puzzle that had been niggling at her, the bit that had made Xena's explanation feel just slightly wrong. It had to have been Joxer who had been walking down that track yesterday afternoon - nobody else would have had any reason to be singing that song.

She glanced over at Xena. There was no point in starting this conversation now, when they were so close to arriving at their destination. 'Joxer' wasn't about to go anywhere. It could wait until they reached Sparta.

Sparta! They were almost upon the tall and imposing main gate of the city now. Gabrielle stretched her aching muscles, sore after a few thumps she'd received in the fight with the bandits. She could really do with a bath, and a proper meal. She said as much to Xena.

"I take it you've never been to Sparta before, Gabrielle?" Xena asked. "What do you know about it?"

"I've heard all of the usual stories, but not much more. Sparta's quite a way from Poteidaia - and now that I come to think of it I don't think I've ever met a bard from Sparta. I know that it's the great power here in the South - just like Athens is to the North. And the Spartans have a reputation as a race of mighty warriors, don't they?" Gabrielle frowned slightly, not sure what this had to do with her comment about finding somewhere to eat and bathe.

"Yes, the Spartans are great fighters, the greatest in Greece as a matter of fact." Xena gave a wry laugh. "I'm not surprised you've never met a Spartan bard; as far as I know, there are no Spartan bards. In fact, their only other preoccupation apart from war is religion. So who do you suppose their main god is?" Xena asked dryly.

"I'd say Ares, but isn't his main temple in Thrace?"

"It is - and for a reason that will become obvious when we reach the city. I wouldn't build your hopes up too much about getting a bath or a decent meal in Sparta!"

They had passed through the gate into the city of Sparta more than ten minutes ago, but Gabrielle was still in a state of shock. She had never seen a major city anything like Sparta. Knowing that Sparta was second in power and importance only to Athens in all of Greece, she'd expected a city like Athens, full of impressive buildings and breathtaking statuary. A cosmopolitan place, bustling with a thousand different sights and sounds and smells hinting at origins from all over Greece and beyond.

Instead, she'd ended up here. Instead of straight, wide, well-planned roadways there were pokey, winding streets. Instead of imposing public buildings made of gleaming marble, there were rude wooden huts and larger buildings made of dull grey stone. Instead of taverns and eating-houses and markets full of people from all over there were utilitarian buildings and columns of tough looking soldiers patrolling the streets.

No wonder Ares' main temple was in Thrace! The Thracians may not have had quite the legendary reputation of the Spartans in battle, but they more than made up for it in architectural ability.

With a sinking heart, Gabrielle wondered what their accommodation in this 'city' would be like.

A short time later, they arrived at an inn and she was not disappointed - you had to have positive expectations in order to be disappointed. The building was made out of stone, rather than wooden logs. That was about the best that could be said of it.

Xena was standing in the stable yard contemplating the dishevelled figure still lying across Argo's back. "What do you think, Gabrielle? Should we just leave him like that all night?" Xena smiled without humour.

"Actually, Xena, there's something I need to talk to you about. There are a few things about all this that are bothering me." Gabrielle quickly explained to Xena about her realisation that it must have been Joxer who they'd seen and heard in the distance the previous day. Gabrielle noticed something very like doubt show in the Warrior Princess' expression by the time she'd finished her explanation.

'Joxer' had had been listening to their conversation, and interrupted before Xena had a chance to say anything in reply to Gabrielle. In turn, he explained about Cupid's debt to him, and, even though the idea of Cupid being indebted to Joxer sounded almost as far-fetched as the rest of the tale, Cupid's feather was eventually retrieved from Joxer's pack.

Before long, 'Joxer' had been removed from Argo's back and they had relocated to an out of the way corner of the inn's stable. Xena had cut the ties from 'Joxer's' wrists but she still watched him like a hawk.

With the aid of Xena's tinderbox, 'Joxer' carefully lit the tip of the feather. All three - or perhaps four - of them watched the flame burn down the length of the feather until it had been completely consumed. Nothing happened.

"So, does this mean that all the rest is a parcel of lies, too?"

"On the contrary, Xena - it proves that Ares is telling the truth," said a voice, seconds before the God of Love appeared beside them.

Gabrielle knew that her mouth was hanging open and she reached up with her hand to push it closed, since her jaws didn't seem to be capable of movement by themselves. That really was Ares inside Joxer's head? For the third time that day, Gabrielle offered up thanks to the gods that she hadn't tried to do physical violence to Joxer this morning.

Xena was doing a better job of masking her shock and managed to say, almost calmly, "How can you be sure of that?"

"There are ways and means, Xena. All gods have certain special 'signatures', an individual mental presence that can be felt by other gods, especially by those of close kindred. I know that Ares is in that mortal body over there as certainly as I know that you are standing there in front of me." Gabrielle remembered then that Cupid was the God of War's nephew. She also remembered that the last time she'd seen Cupid he had acted a lot more - well, boyish. The eternal carefree youth seemed to have been replaced by a grim-faced man. The change even showed in his speech, which was now precise and formal - not at all like the speech of the Cupid she remembered.

"But can you really be sure, Cupid? I mean, uncle and nephew isn't really all that close a relationship when all's said and done."

"I'm very sure - I'm also sure that you will work out why, Xena of Amphipolis."

"Would it be too much trouble to allow me to take part in this conversation?" 'Joxer' asked. Gabrielle noticed now that the acid tones of the God of War were obvious in Joxer's voice.

If anything, Cupid's visage turned even grimmer. "Apart from identifying you - which I did more for Joxer's sake than for anything I might possibly owe you - what would I be able to do for you? What would I want to do for you, for that matter?"

"Cupid, we've been through this before! It wasn't my fault! If I'd known what she was going to do I wouldn't have let him go near her-"

"It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters now." The look in Cupid's eyes as he uttered those last few words sent shivers down Gabrielle's spine. The look wasn't just grim - there was a deadness in the cast of Cupid's eyes that was truly frightening.

"Look, Cupid. I need to know what's been happening. I'm trapped in this body and I'm being blocked from using my powers. Someone's done this on purpose. Do you have any idea who it could be?"

"Why should I?"

"Cupid this is important!"

"I thought something was important once - you didn't seem to give a damn about it, though!" The God of Love's tone suddenly developed a vicious edge. Gabrielle was reminded forcibly of Ares in one of his frequent bad moods.

"Look, we can go all through that again if you like, but it won't change anything. Answer me: do you have any idea how this has happened to me?" Somehow, Joxer's light, nasal voice took on the darker shades of that of the God of War. If Gabrielle hadn't already known for sure that Ares was somehow inside Joxer's head then just listening to Joxer's voice at that moment would almost certainly have convinced her.

"Cupid, tell me who has done this," Ares grated. "It has to be a god, so there should be signs of interference all over this body. Do you recognise the signature?"

"Apart from some signs that your own power signature's been used on this form, I can't see anything." Cupid smiled thinly, obviously enjoyed the look of dismay that crossed Joxer's features at that. "...apart from something else that's masked that is. Whoever has done this has covered their tracks."

"Cupid I-"

"Ares, the only reason I'm here is because of my promise to Joxer - unlike some people, I keep my promises." Cupid actually glowered then, an expression Gabrielle had never thought to see on the face of the fun-loving god. "The last time I saw you was a couple of weeks ago when you were visiting Mom on the Island of Love. You seemed to be having some sort of major conference about something or other. Maybe she's got a better idea about what's going on," Cupid suggested grudgingly.

"Cupid, I'd be really grateful if you could ask Aphrodite about this - if it's not too much trouble. I'd really like things to get back to normal and maybe she knows something that can help." Ares tone was hesitant. No, wait! That couldn't have been Ares. That last bit must have been Joxer speaking. Gabrielle truly hoped that this got sorted out soon. She was pretty sure that otherwise she would end up terminally confused through trying to work out whether she was hearing Joxer or Ares every time 'Joxer' said anything.

Cupid's look softened ever so slightly. "I'll see what I can do, Joxer. For you," he emphasised. "If there's anything I can do to help you in the meantime, just call."

"Well, um, I don't really like to mention this, but we're going to need some money to buy food and lodging and stuff while we try to sort this out. I don't really think-,"

"That's one problem that's easily solved," replied the God of Love, and a bag of coins appeared in Joxer's hand even as Cupid winked out.

"Well, that was... interesting," said Gabrielle, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room after Cupid's departure. "Are you sure that really was Cupid, Jox- Ares? He wasn't anything like how I remember him."

"Something happened to Cupid a while ago. He hasn't been the same since." Gabrielle waited for more, but the God of War did not elaborate.

"I'm more interested in something he almost told me rather than how he looked," Xena remarked. The Warrior Princess was looking thoughtful rather than surprised at the turn of events. Gabrielle, in turn, wasn't at all surprised about that. Xena's self-possession was such that she rarely allowed things to shock her for long - even when her conviction about something was proved wrong. "What was Cupid trying to say - about his connection with Ares?"

"I don't think that really matters right now, Xena! Cupid has proved that what I say is true." Joxer's aggressive manner and body language were pure, unadulterated God of War.

"Oh I happen to think that it does matter. What was it that Cupid called me? 'Xena of Amphipolis'. I'm not usually referred to by that title, so why did he make such a point of using it? Could it be that I know something, because I come from Amphipolis?" Xena was intent on solving the puzzle. 'Joxer' was looking less pleased by the second. "By the look on your face, I'd say that I'm on to something here. Now what could it be about Amphipolis?" Xena's smile was not pleasant.

Gabrielle thought about the relationship between the gods and mortals. While the Greeks had many gods, the actual worship of particular gods differed from region to region, city to city and even town to town throughout Greece. Gabrielle remembered the different stories she had collected in her travels, some she'd never heard before and others that were familiar but which differed from place to place-

"Xena I think I've got it!" Xena looked at Gabrielle in surprise as the bard interrupted her train of thought.

"What is it Gabrielle?"

"Were there any stories about Ares and Cupid told in Amphipolis when you were growing up? Stories that maybe were a bit different from those told in other places you've been to?"

"Gabrielle, you're brilliant!" Xena replied, giving the bard a tiny hug before turning back to the brooding presence on her other side. "He's your son." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," the god in Joxer's body replied with resignation. "That's how I was so sure that he'd be able to confirm that I was telling the truth."

"You keep that very quiet."

"There are reasons."

"Could the reasons have anything to do with how you ended up here?" Xena suggested.

"What are you getting at?"

"You don't exactly make the fact that he's your son common knowledge - pretty much the opposite, in fact. Maybe someone resents that. Like his mother, for example."

Ares gave a harsh laugh at that, an odd sound to hear from Joxer's mouth. "It's been what, eight centuries now? She hasn't shown any signs of it yet."

"Maybe the circumstances have changed recently. It's pretty obvious that something's upset Cupid badly. Could Aphrodite perhaps feel that Cupid should be getting some support from his father in that situation - whatever it is? Cupid did say that you'd been talking to Aphrodite about something important not long ago."

A frown appeared on Joxer's face at that. "It's possible - Cupid is pretty pissed off at me over the whole thing."

"So what is 'the whole thing'?" Xena inquired smoothly.

"It's not something I'm about to discuss with you!" Ares said sharply, and then frowned in annoyance as Joxer's voice cracked on the last word.

"You'll tell me or I won't help you," stated Xena.

"Does that mean that if I do answer you will help me?" Ares could be just as quick on the uptake as Xena.

"Perhaps. I can guarantee that I'll do everything in my power to stop you if you don't tell me, though."

"All right," Ares agreed. "You know that Callisto killed Strife with the hind's blood?" Xena nodded slowly. "After Strife died Cupid went - he became... strange. That was when it came out that Strife and Cupid were lovers. More than that - they were in love. And no, before you ask, I don't know what they saw in each other. It's about the most extreme case of opposites attracting that you could ever not hope to find." Joxer's face grimaced in distaste. "Anyway, they'd been making plans. Cupid was going to put Psyche aside and spend eternity with Strife instead. None of the other gods knew anything about it until Cupid went off the rails as soon as Strife died."

Ares paused for a moment and then said to no one in particular, "Yes that's right." He looked slightly embarrassed, as though he had been caught out at something, and explained, "Joxer just mentioned that that must have been the night he babysat Bliss for Cupid. He thinks now that the tempest he was caught in that night may have been caused by Cupid's grief. I believe he may very well be right."

Gabrielle blinked in surprise. That had sounded like something very close to respect for Joxer's opinion coming from the War God.

"And Cupid blames you for what happened to Strife?" Xena was the one who asked the question.

"Obviously."

"Aphrodite must be pretty upset about Cupid," Xena commented.

Joxer's face frowned at that.

"What?" asked the Warrior Princess sharply.

"I can't remember what her reaction was. I remember going to visit her that day, but I can't remember any of the details, what we talked about. It's strange, because things that happened weeks before that I can remember without any trouble." 'Joxer' and Xena exchanged a meaningful look.

"Seems like we've just hit on something, Ares. Let's hope that Cupid finds Aphrodite soon. I'd very much like to talk to her," Xena said thoughtfully.

"Not as much as I would," growled Ares, incidentally proving that he had managed to gain greater mastery over Joxer's vocal chords. "In the mean time, there's something else I need to check up on." He made to leave the room.

"Oh no you don't, Ares. You wanted me to believe you, and I do - but I didn't say that I trusted you. You're not going anywhere until you tell me what it is that you have to 'check up on.' Probably not even then."

"Xena, I really don't have time for this."

"Too bad - make the time." The Warrior Princess stood her ground, refusing to let 'Joxer' pass. Joxer's face wore the look of someone not used to being thwarted - another of the continuing, unsettling reminders that the God of War inhabited Joxer's body.

"I have to go to my temple and find out what's going on."

Xena gave a bark of humourless laughter. "You'll have to do better than that."

"My, you're slipping without my tutelage, Xena. Haven't you noticed something wrong? It was obvious to me within five minutes of entering the city." Although there was a mocking edge to Joxer's voice, Gabrielle could tell that Ares' question was deadly serious.

"Just what are you getting at?"

"The columns of soldiers in the street. Didn't you notice anything about them?"

"Well, there weren't that many of them."

Gabrielle's eyes opened wide in surprise. One of the things that had really shocked her about Sparta was the size of the military presence on the streets. Everywhere they'd turned there seemed to be yet another group of uniformed men.

"So what?" Xena went on. "The Spartans are famous for their battle skills - mainly because they're almost always involved in a war of some kind. They must have sent a large force off somewhere. What's the matter? Have they gone off to a war without asking you first?"

"Worse than that. I'm almost positive that they've gone off to wage a war that I expressly forbade them to fight."

"Now I've heard everything! You really expect me to believe that?"

"It makes things nice and easy for you, doesn't it? To believe that because I'm the personification of war I'm also the personification of evil in the world? Nothing's ever really as simple as that, Xena. You must have been spending too much time with my simple-minded half-brother lately - he always did see the world in black and white. You never used to be satisfied with convenient explanations when you followed me."

"Can we forget the nostalgia trip and get to the point?"

"There has to be balance to these things, to the world. If I encouraged all war indiscriminately, without supervising the ebb and flow of power and influence - giving it my personal touch - the Greeks would have fought each other to extinction long ago. And a god without followers is no god at all.

"I heard you mention earlier that the only interest the Spartans have apart from warfare is religion. Well, part of that religion involves the banning of any involvement in battle for one month at the time of the

Autumn Festival. It's about the only thing that's stopped the rest of Greece from becoming a Spartan dictatorship long ago - the Spartans always had to stop their campaigns before they got a proper foothold in the North. Look around, Xena. It's late in the season. Autumn will be on us in next to no time. This is the one time of year when Sparta should be overflowing with warriors - yet it's as close to empty of soldiers as I've ever seen it."

"Just supposing for a moment that I believe you, what's so special about this war?"

"If it happens now, it will lead to the destruction of both Athens and Sparta - and after that the rest of Greece won't be far behind."

"So, you want to go to the temple and find out what's going on," Xena stated. "Let's get going then." She turned to Gabrielle. "Could you sort things out here, Gabrielle? We won't be long."

'Joxer' sighed. "Finally!" he said, and strode out the door with the Warrior Princess close behind him.

Chapter 5

Joxer was finding this whole 'togetherness' thing with the God of War just a bit much. He knew that what was happening was urgent and important, but did Ares really have to use his 'override' power quite so frequently? Joxer felt like he had been virtually invisible ever since he had woken up on that mountain track. He had had to resort to trying to get Ares to convey some of his thoughts to the others when he hadn't even been able to get control of his mouth long enough to say anything.

They were hurrying through the streets now. It was getting late in the afternoon and for some reason it seemed important to Ares to get to the temple as soon as possible. Joxer wasn't really sure why. He could read the god's thoughts only imperfectly, although he knew that Ares could 'hear' almost everything that he himself thought. He also knew that his thoughts were a source of almost continual irritation to Ares.

Just be thankful that I have to share this body with you, mortal, or you'd be regretting quite a few of your thoughts by now! came Ares' instantaneous response.

Joxer couldn't even think about thinking without getting into trouble. It was depressing, even though he recognised the half-hearted threat for what it was now that he was becoming used to the tenor of the god's thoughts.

Joxer looked around - at least, he looked around as much as he was able, which wasn't a great deal, since Ares was staring intently towards what must be their destination. Joxer noticed that his pace was slowing. They were nearing a huge, incredibly ugly building constructed of large blocks of grey stone. The street they were in was slightly wider than most of the others, which still wasn't saying a great deal.

Ares stopped not far from the temple. Joxer could feel...anxiety rippling through the Ares' consciousness - a feeling he never would have thought to associate with the God of War.

Of course I'm not anxious, you idiot!

Oops. Sorry. Wrong thing to say. I just-

Yes, you just thought, didn't you? As it happens, I'm just trying to work out the best way to get in to talk to the High Priest.

"So how are we going to do this?" asked Xena, unknowingly echoing Ares' thought.

"The High Priest should be in the antechamber at the back, getting ready for the evening service. We should be able to get in and 'persuade' him to tell us exactly what's going on."

"When you say 'get in', just what do you have in mind?"

"Walk in through the front door? How should I know? I don't usually travel to my temples on foot!"

"Where's the antechamber?" asked Xena, ignoring Ares' irritation.

"It's on the eastern side. There's an external door we could try."

Xena shook her head. "No, we'd attract too much attention. You can't tell me that this place isn't well guarded. I think the easiest thing to do is to just go in through the front door. Two more warriors come to worship shouldn't be considered too remarkable."

Joxer could feel Ares' increasing irritation at the way Xena was taking command of the situation. Being anyone's subordinate was not something that Ares relished in the least.

"Lead on, then," Ares replied with mock courtesy, holding out one hand to indicate that Xena should precede him. Even as he did so, Joxer felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder.

"And just what do you think you're doing here again? Did you think that we were so stupid that we wouldn't recognise you if you tried another change of clothes?" The burly soldier pulled 'Joxer' around by the shoulder. "You've really done it now." But the man grinned as he spoke. "At least you've managed to find some decent clothes this time!"

Joxer had no idea how to respond. What on earth had he been doing when he was in Sparta to make such an impression on one of the temple guards? It was obvious that the man remembered him well.

It was also obvious that the man was quite drunk. The disapproval coming from Ares' direction was almost palpable. Spartan warriors lead frugal lives dedicated to their god. They don't get drunk. To do so in sight of the temple -! Ares fumed in outraged tones. Joxer could feel all the muscles in his body tensing up at the god's fury.

Luckily, Xena intervened at that point. "You'll have to forgive my friend. He suffered a slight accident recently and lost some of his memory. The last few weeks are a total blank for him. We've come here trying to get some answers about what he was doing here in Sparta."

"Well, you've come to the right place, - ?" the look the soldier sent in Xena's direction was frankly admiring.

"Minya, my name's Minya. I'm a mercenary. And you are - ?" Xena's voice was low and husky and there was an almost coquettish quality to her manner as she gazed at the soldier through suddenly lowered lashes. Joxer was very glad that Ares still had control of his mouth right then, otherwise he was sure that he would have laughed and spoiled everything.

"Amyclas is my name. I'm a soldier - one of those that remain to defend the temple of Ares. Or, rather, I will be tomorrow. I'm off duty right at the moment," he finished slightly suggestively. He seemed to have forgotten 'Joxer's' presence for the moment.

"Those that remain? Forgive me Amyclas, I've only just arrived in Sparta, but I thought that you Spartans all stayed home and prepared for the festival at this time of year."

"Normally, that would be true but this year the king has received the blessing of Lord Ares himself to wage a w-, is your friend all right?" As the Spartan spoke the last few words Joxer was battered by the psychic whirlwind produced by the God of War's anger. Joxer could feel his hands clenched tight at his side and he was pretty sure that there was a rather interesting expression on his face.

"It's the mention of the name of a certain god," Xena told him in a conspiratorial stage whisper, even as she flashed 'Joxer' a sideways glance, warning him to stay silent and let her take care of things. Joxer could feel Ares' instant resentment at being relegated to the sidelines - and his frustration at having to go along with Xena's plan because he could think of no alternative strategy. The god's awareness chafed at the restrictions imposed by being trapped in Joxer's mortal form.

"Ah, then he probably does have some memory of his time in Sparta," Amyclas was looking at 'Joxer' in amusement again.

"Really? Why do you say that?" Xena really was a marvellous actress, Joxer thought. She managed to make the inquiry sound both casual and as though she was hanging off the soldier's every word.

"When he was here - the second time, anyway - he spent days hanging 'round the temple begging for someone to help him. He claimed he was being harassed by -" The soldier obviously remembered 'Joxer's' reaction a moment ago and checked himself. "a certain god well-known in Sparta." Amyclas laughed heartily at the recollection. "The priests kept telling him that it was an honour to be chosen by - the god -, that - the god - obviously had some purpose in mind for him. Not that they really believed him, of course. But he didn't listen to them, anyway. Last I heard he'd been seen leaving the city at high speed," Amyclas chuckled.

Joxer could feel the shock emanating from Ares, replacing the violence that the God of War had barely held in check throughout most of the conversation. He didn't know which of them was more surprised by the soldier's words. He'd run away from Sparta trying to get away from Ares? Being completely honest with himself for once, Joxer had to admit that he couldn't think what the God of War could have wanted with him.

That makes two of us. Ares commented dryly. Sounds like I scared you pretty well, though. Was that a hint of amusement Joxer could hear in Ares' tone?

"So my friend was here more than once?" Xena's eyelashes gave the merest hint of a flutter as she drew the conversation back to something Amyclas had mentioned in passing.

"Yes - and both times he was dressed like you wouldn't believe!"

Joxer was beginning to get the feeling that a) the soldier had definitely forgotten his presence and b) his previous visits to the temple appeared to have been the entertainment highlights of the soldier's obviously dull and boring life!

"I have to say that that purple gown was just-." And the soldier could stand it no longer and dissolved into laughter.

Does this ring any bells for you? Ares asked Joxer, a definite thread of amusement running through his mental voice this time.

Surely you couldn't have forgotten a purple dress?

I don't wear things like that, Joxer replied seriously. Then he added more excitedly, It's exactly the sort of thing that my brother would wear, though! Remember how I said that I was coming to Sparta to look for him? Maybe I actually found him...

Really? Your brother sounds... unusual.

Oh, he is! People always used to say to mother that they couldn't believe how three boys who looked exactly the same could be so different.

Amyclas was still doubled over with laughter. Xena took him by the arm, betraying her impatience to get more information out of him. 'Joxer' followed her around the corner into an alleyway as she steered both the soldier and the conversation in a more productive direction. "You still haven't told me why a warrior of such obvious... prowess is still in Sparta when most of the army is -. Where was it that you said they'd gone to?" Xena inquired as she neatly side-stepped Amyclas' clumsy embrace.

"Well, when our god didn't appear in the temple last night the king knew that that was Ares' way of giving him permission to teach those damned Athenians a lesson they won't forget." The man suddenly became morose. "I was left behind because I-"

"Yesterday wouldn't happen to have been the autumnal equinox by any chance, would it?" Ares broke into the conversation, too deceptively calmly for Joxer's liking.

"Of course it was - that's the one night of the year when our god appears to us, to signal that the Autumn festival has begun." Amyclas was looking at 'Joxer' as though he was mad not to know such a basic fact.

"So the forces set off this morning?" Again, Ares' tone was neutral.

"Yes, at first light-" And then Amyclas was sprawled out before them.

Joxer had felt his arm move, and the burst of satisfaction that had coloured Ares' thoughts at the same moment, but it had all been over so quickly. Who would have thought that he would be capable of such a deadly right hook, even allowing for the fact that his body was under the control of the God of War? With Ares inside his head for long enough he should end up with plenty of material for new verses to 'Joxer the Mighty'! Joxer caught Ares' mental groan in response to his last thought just as Xena began speaking again.

"Wouldn't it have been a good idea to have waited at least until he told us what route they were taking?" Xena folded her arms, her expression far from amused.

"I'd had enough - his continued existence is an insult to me! Anyway, there was no need to get any more information out of him. I know exactly where Leonidas is taking those forces - and why!"

"Well, I'm waiting."

"King Leonidas has been itching to invade Athens for years. He's actually made a few attempts, as you might remember, but before he ever has a chance to really establish himself, his army has to come home for the festival. He's tried to get dispensation from me before to keep fighting after the equinox. My answer's always been the same." Xena raised an eyebrow questioningly. "I always told him that the day that I didn't appear in the temple for the Autumnal equinox would be the day that he'd be allowed to wage a war on Athens instead of celebrating my festival."

Xena looked as though she was about to make a few observations - probably observations about the sheer arrogance and hubris of certain gods of her acquaintance. After a moment, obviously thinking better of voicing her thoughts, she asked mildly, "Why don't you tell me where you think they're going to make for first while we get out of here?" With a slight jerk of her head, she indicated the still form on the ground.

"Lerna's the obvious place. It's one of the few places in Argolis completely dedicated to my worship, so they often ally themselves with Sparta in disputes. It's not a very large place but it's perfectly situated as a 'jumping off point'. From there they can march through all the cities in Argolis between there and Corinth and then head across the isthmus - "

"To the Piraeus where the Athenian fleet is docked," Xena finished, nodding in comprehension as they made their way round the corner and past the temple.

"We'll need to get going at first light tomorrow morning if we're going to have any chance of getting there before they do."

"So you have a plan?"

"Of sorts. There's really only one possible way to stop them. I have to appear before them and order them home."

"I don't think that will be all that effective if you're still 'dressed' as Joxer. Do you really think that Cupid is going to talk to Aphrodite for you, or to any of the other gods for that matter?" Xena asked doubtfully.

"Of course not! But Aphrodite holds one of her annual boink-fests in Argos around the equinox - it usually continues for weeks. Argos is very close to Lerna, so if we get to Lerna in enough time we should be able to track down Aphrodite in Argos, she can 'assist' in getting me back in my own body, I can appear to the Spartan forces and send them home and then everything can get back to normal!"

Xena considered for a moment. "Assuming that everything else goes according to your admittedly highly optimistic plan, there's just one thing that worries me."

"And that is?"

"It's all based on the assumption that we'll get to Lerna before the Spartan forces. They'll have an entire day's head start on us and even though they'll be slowed down by their numbers you know as well as I do that the Spartans have almost phenomenal endurance. They'll be able to move faster than any other force of a similar size would." Xena seemed to enjoy pointing out holes in Ares' plan.

"We can get to Lerna before them. For one thing, they'll probably stop and sack Tegea on the way. And, for another, you seem to have forgotten that Lerna's on the coast." Joxer could tell that Ares enjoyed countering Xena's counter-argument, too.

"That's fine - except that Sparta's right in the middle of Laconia. There's a very good reason why Sparta doesn't have a navy!"

"That's why I plan to travel east to the coast instead of north behind the Spartan army tomorrow." Ares replied with exaggerated patience. "We'll travel to the coast, get passage on a ship and arrive in Lerna - hopefully while the Spartans are still playing in Tegea." Xena muttered something. "Well, can you think of any other way? You don't have to come with me if you don't want to, of course."

"Oh no, Ares. I'll be with you to the bitter end in this. Don't think you can get rid of me that easily." It was then that Joxer realised that in a strange sort of way Xena was enjoying this whole bizarre situation. She seemed to relish every sign of Ares' discomfiture. She wouldn't miss this for anything!

"We'd better get an early night if we're going to beat them to Lerna," Xena continued as the inn where they'd left Gabrielle came into sight in the distance. She caught 'Joxer's' eye. "There's still one thing left that I don't quite understand." She paused. "A purple dress, Joxer?" she asked with a quizzical smile.

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